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About Marriage ...........
3 Ways to Give Your Marriage a Fighting Chance
Peace is not the absence of noise.
Have you ever thought of that? It's particularly true in marriages. Perhaps you believe that if there are no loud words, no heated exchanges...essentially, no fighting - everything must be okay. Problem is, if there is no fighting, it can mean there is no "anything."
There are a lot of marriages dying today in silent apathy. Men in particular, but women as well, can mistake routine for satisfaction. If everything is taken care of - the home is neat, the kids are bathed, the bills are being paid, the food is on the table - they believe everything is fine...when under the surface there are a lot of ongoing and unsolved problems. What can you do to give your marriage a fighting chance?
First, settle the fact that your vows do matter. Your marriage commitment was for a lifetime. There is no "out." You said, "I do." You need to live as though you meant it. Therefore, you must set aside all other priorities to make your marriage work. That's what a marriage is, by the way. It's work. You want to think of it as being nothing but pleasurable, existing to meet your expectations. But that's not reality. Think of it like a bank account. Your marriage is only going to grow as long as your depositing more into it than you are withdrawing from it. Ask yourself, "What more can I put into my marriage to show my spouse that I am truly committed to this relationship?"
Secondly, keep in mind the Biblical principle to think not only of your own interests, but the interests of others. That means you are to make the marriage - and your spouse - more important than yourself and your perceived needs.
Get behind the eyes of your husband or wife. See life like they do. Sacrifice yourself for the benefit of the marriage. Ask your spouse, "What are some things you need from me than I am currently not providing for you?"
Finally, don't be afraid of conflicts. Instead, face them head-on, wrestle them down to the mat, and pin them down. Then know how to make up - not remaining bitter or resentful, but instead letting the disagreement enhance your understanding and respect for each other. There are a lot of silent marriages that are really not at all peaceful.
There are those that have some conflict - sometimes even argumentative and angry - that are peaceful because those couples can resolve their conflicts in a Biblically appropriate and constructive way.
When you, as husband and wife, are able to...
• Solidify your commitment to the marriage
• Place your spouse ahead of yourself
• Go ahead and engage in conflict in a healthy way
You'll forever wake up the silent apathy in your marriage, and begin moving toward the deeper affection and intimacy you need to keep it alive and growing...'til death do you part! And that's far more than just a fighting chance!
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